Free guide for parents
The Family Foundations Guide
A project for parents who want a more connected home.
Without a shared sense of what your family is about, every rule can feel arbitrary and every consequence can feel like a power move. This free guide walks you through naming what your family stands for, together, one family meeting at a time.
Free guide for parents
The Family Foundations Guide
When every rule turns into a power struggle, it's often because the family has never named what it stands for. This free guide walks you through doing that together, one family meeting at a time, so your kids do the right thing because they understand who your family is, not just because of what happens if they don't.
Inside, five steps
- 1.Identify your family values together
- 2.Write a family mission statement
- 3.Build family rules from your values
- 4.Agree on consequences together
- 5.Make it beautiful and put it on the wall
Quick Answer
How do you create family values with your kids?
Start with a conversation, not a rulebook. Gather everyone's ideas about what matters in your family, choose four to six values that already feel true, then put them into a short family mission statement. Build your family rules and consequences from those values, agree on them together, and display them somewhere everyone sees every day.
- Format
- Free PDF guide, sent by email
- Steps
- Five, each designed for a family meeting
- Best for
- Parents of children and teens
Why cohesion matters more than compliance
Compliance is when a child does what you say because of what will happen if they don't. Cohesion is when a child does the right thing because they understand who their family is and want to be part of it.
The difference matters most when you're not in the room. Cohesion is built through shared meaning, and it starts with a conversation about what your family stands for.
The five steps
- 1
Identify your family values together
Values come first because everything else flows from them. Gather everyone's words and phrases, look for themes, and choose four to six values that already feel true for your family.
- 2
Write a family mission statement
If values are the what, the mission statement is the how: one to three sentences that put your values into action, in your family's own words.
- 3
Build family rules from your values
Every rule traces back to a value the whole family already agreed on, so rules stop feeling arbitrary. “No phones at dinner” becomes how you live out “we make time for each other.”
- 4
Agree on consequences together
Consequences that are connected, proportionate, predictable, and agreed on in advance, so nobody is improvising in a moment of frustration.
- 5
Make it beautiful and put it on the wall
Turn the list into something the whole family made together, and hang it where everyone sees it every day. Revisit it as your children grow.
Questions parents ask
Is the Family Foundations Guide free?
Yes. Enter your email address and we'll send it to you. You'll also receive new posts from our blog, and you can unsubscribe at any time.
Who is the guide for?
Parents of children and teens who want a more connected home and fewer power struggles. It works for families of any shape, and each step is designed for a family meeting.
How long does it take?
There are five steps. You can move through them in a few weeks or stretch them across a couple of months. The conversations along the way matter more than the finished product.
What if the conversations keep getting stuck?
That's worth paying attention to. If values turn into arguments or rules can't be agreed on, a family therapist can help you build this together. A free 15-minute call with our Client Care Coordinator is a good place to start.
Getting started is simple
Book a free call
A free 15-minute phone call with our Client Care Coordinator. Share what's going on and ask anything. No commitment.
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We connect you with the therapist on our team who fits what you, your child, or your family needs.
Begin
Meet in person at our San Rafael office, or online anywhere in California.
Or call us at (415) 326-6354